Beacons find new way to lose; they play instead of taking a forfeit

ROLLINSFORD – Somehow, some way the Beacons keep finding new ways to lose games in a quest to achieve the perfect season.
In what may be remembered as one of the most bizarre fiascos in recent memory, the Beacons actually registered their first and only win this season on Thursday night at GoldStar Park when Shirts Happen did not have enough players.
The umpire met with both teams and awarded the win by forfeit to the Beacons. Beacons Manager Bob Cook then filled out his team’s official line-up card and noted the team had won by forfeit. The line-up card was then signed by the umpire.
Done deal, right?
Wrong.
Five minutes later, Shirts Happen players used their cell phones to summon up some lost players and suddenly wanted to play a game. Meanwhile, the umpire was still present and at Shirts Happen Coach Ben Hazen’s urging, decided to take away the forfeited win from the Beacons.
“Play ball!”
Beacons players like Bob Dawber and Kim Lundquist were pleased the team would have its regularly scheduled game instead and have to earn a win. Cook was not.
“Listen, a win is a win and since we don’t have any, why not just take the win and play those guys in a scrimmage? I had a bad feeling if we played the game instead, we wouldn’t keep that win,” Cook said.
Once again, Cook the oracle, who never hesistates to shout at Dawber, “Play’s to third” when there is only a runner on second, or waves his arms furiously to urge his outfielders to move to the right while waving left, was right as rain.
Final score: Shirts Happen, 9, Beacons, 4.
Triples hit to deep center and deep leftfield by Beacons outfielders Justin Palmer and Jason Claffey helped produce some runs along with key hits by shortstop Steve Clegg and Lundquist. But once again, the Beacons managed to snatch defeat from sure victory.
With five games left to this magical season, the team can still make history by losing its remaining games and achieving the unthinkable, a perfect 0-20 record.
Too bad there were any number one draft picks waiting in the wings for the team with the worst record. Then it would actually make sense for the team to do so badly.
But like the umpire said last night before the first pitch, “Play ball!”